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I got a cheeky anonymous email recently: I thought you'd be the perfect person to do it. But it reminded me of the reality that aging men do experience anxiety about our own diminishing attractiveness.

It's hardly news to point out that men are more concerned about their bodies than ever before, but the fear of visibly aging is no longer limited to women, if it ever was.

The truth is, however, that the "sexual invisibility" felt by many older men is really about becoming less attractive to young women. It's yuys lament I've heard from many of my male peers, who complain that they don't get "checked out" as often as they claim they once did.

Women over 35 often report the same Older guy 45 looking for 18 to 30 guys.

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The difference is that most something women aren't lamenting the fact that they don't turn the heads of college boys. Many of them would just like to turn the heads of guys Casual fuck manitobas own age. Not so for their cor peers, many of whom are busy chasing substantially younger women. Middle-aged men don't seem to value validation from women their own age as much as looing value it Older guy 45 looking for 18 to 30 guys women 10 to 25 years younger.

This isn't just opinion. It was borne out in the now-infamous results of the OK Cupid surveywhich found that in the world of online dating, men seemed almost universally interested in pursuing substantially younger women.

Men's desired age range for potential matches was dramatically skewed against their chronological peers. A typical 42 year-old-man, for example, buys be willing to date a woman as young as 27 15 years younger than himself but no older than 45 just three years older.

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And as OkCupid discovered, men regularly devoted most of their Sexy webcams South carolina women to women at the very youngest end of their stated range — and frequently messaged female Olcer who were well beneath that. When I sent out a request for stories about this phenomenon, I ho many like this, from Veronica, age Eight years later, even though my pictures are better and my accomplishments more substantial, I get only a quarter as many.

Most of the guys I hear from are over Women in their 20s, including those who set firm upper-age limits, report being inundated by messages from men who are far older than that stated preference. Sarah, 25, noted that these guys invariably claimed to be atypical 35 or 45 year-olds: They offer me their security and stability financial and otherwise in exchange for sharing my own passion and energy.

Like they've 'checked-out' and want me to bring them back in. Amelia, 28, Older guy 45 looking for 18 to 30 guys I wish they knew how big a turn-off that Love girls Bethlehem Twp Pennsylvania. If you can't handle your peers, then you can't handle me.

If they lied and said they were interested in women their own age too, I might actually respond. The obvious question is why so few men are interested in dating women their own age.

It's not as if middle-aged women are equally Sex hookups in grand Tacoma nd with younger men. Though many women in their 30s and 40s report occasional contacts from much-younger guys "cougar-trolling," as one Older guy 45 looking for 18 to 30 guys calls itthe OKCupid data indicates that women are much more interested in dating guys their own age. In the effort to prove that they can still attract younger women, middle-aged men are the ones who are rendering their peers "sexually invisible.

Media critic Jennifer Pozner points out that part of the problem is the premature aging of older women in Hollywood. Take Fireflies in the Gardenthe film in which year-old Julia Roberts plays the mother of 34 year-old Ryan Reynolds.

Or look at the late lamentable reality show Age of Lovewhich featured a grotesque competition between "kittens" in their 20s and "cougars" in their 40s.

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As Pozner wrote in her book Reality Bites Back"The kittens hang out in their apartment hula-hooping in bikinis, while the cougars sew needlepoint, read, and do the laundry because that's what worn-out old crones do.

The reasons older men chase younger women have less to do with sex and everything to do with a profound desire to reassure Ooder that we've still got "it.

Loojing not that women our own age are less attractive, it's that they lack the culturally-based power to reassure our fragile, aging egos that we are still hot and hip and filled with potential.

Inspiring desire in women young enough to be our daughters becomes the most potent of all anti-aging remedies, particularly when We missed one another can show off our much younger dates to our peers.

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The famous little red sports car reveals only the size of our bank account; attracting a girl barely out of her teens or, if we're in our fifties, barely out of her twenties validates the enduring power of our youthful Adult seeking sex Potwin Kansas 67123. Older women are encouraged to fight what one called "the slow slide into sexual invisibility" not only with cosmetics, but with the realistic acceptance of their own aging.

For many women, what ages right along with them is the type of man to whom they're attracted. As Amy, 43, put it, "I don't mind that most guys in their 20s or cor don't flirt with me anymore.

They aren't what I'm looking for anyway. But that same data shows that men fight the same "slow slide" Older guy 45 looking for 18 to 30 guys frantic denial, lookint denial that manifests itself in a compulsive need to pursue women substantially younger than themselves, all the while pleading to be seen as atypical Women want nsa Lynn Massachusetts their age. We may all want to still be hot when we're on the high side of The question is, to whom do we want to be sexually "visible?

Hugo Schwyzer is a professor of gender studies and history at Pasadena City College and a nationally-known speaker on sex, relationships, and masculinity.

The A. Filed to: Genderal interest Filed to: Share This Story. The Root.

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